


Why Me?

by tmntstyle



Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2012)
Genre: Kissing, M/M, Suggestive Themes, Touching, Turtlecest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-18
Updated: 2015-04-15
Packaged: 2018-03-18 11:48:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3568532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tmntstyle/pseuds/tmntstyle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What happens when the object of your desires does not reciprocate your feelings?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Go easy on this one. This is only the second time I've written anything with RaphxDonnie available and I don't know where exactly I'm going with it.

Auburn eyes pooled with tears as the news hit. “I’m sorry, Donnie, but I’m just not interested in that kind of relationship with you. We’re best friends, you’re like my brother. I can’t see you as anything more. And...I’ve started to date Casey. I hope you can still hang out with me like always.”

Donatello nodded then turned away from April, unable to look at her any longer after the devastating blow to his heart. His worst nightmare had come to pass and he couldn’t face it like he thought he could. He always knew it would happen but he still wasn’t prepared. 

The sound of light footsteps retreating was the only indication that April had left and Donnie was alone.

The entire world crumbled around him as the genius fell to his knees, losing himself in his sorrow. She didn’t love him. She never did. He would never find that kind of love, how could he? He’s a mutant turtle freak that hardly anyone understands when talking about anything that included large words.

“How could I be so foolish? There was never a chance for me to have April like that, or anyone, really.” He sniffed. “I’ll be alone forever...”

Donnie’s sobs echoed in his lab, so much so that he didn’t notice the shadow in his doorway that silently watched the sorrowful turtle. It pained the figure to see the purple-banded turtle so heartbroken. 

With the stealth of a well-trained ninja, the figure crept forward and pulled the trembling turtle into their arms, hoping to soothe away the pain. The warmth touch of rough hands and hard plastron shocked Donnie into opening his eyes and seeing bright emeralds staring solemnly back.

“R-Raph..?” Donnie choked on his tears, melting at the feeling of stress leaving his shoulders as soft pressure was applied. Raphael sighed, cradling Donnie to his chest to quiet his sobs as much as he could.

After a few moments of silence, Raph spoke in a soft tone to keep the atmosphere calm. “I’m sorry this happened to you, Donnie boy. I didn’t try hard enough to stop it.” Raph paused as Donnie closed his eyes, failing to ignore the sting of the memory.

“Casey had told me he asked April out and she said yes. I should have told you before she came over so none of this happened. And...Don I’m sorry. I am so sorry.” Raph held Donnie close, gently rocking him as another wave of sadness took hold of the frail mutant that so desperately wanted a love of his own.

“I-It’s not your fault, R-Raph. I should have kn-known it wouldn’t work out... I’m just a foolish scientist wanting a love that can never happen.” Donnie sat up a bit and wiped at his eyes, failing to stop the flow of tears as he felt a rush of embarrassment for behaving this way in front of Raph.

A gentle thumb rubbed underneath each eye, removing the tears easily, as a small smile formed on Raph’s face. Donnie had never seen that look on his hot-headed brother before toward anyone but his pet Spike, who was no longer available for that look as he mutated into Slash.

Donnie looked at Raph in questioningly. “Wh-Why are you being so nice to me, Raph? Don’t you always hit me and say what a dork I am when it comes to April?” Donnie sighed dejectedly. “I wouldn’t blame you. I was stupid to believe it might actually work.”

“No, Don. Don’t you ever say you’re stupid, again. You’re the most intelligent, good-hearted guy..er, turtle, I know and love. I won’t let you sit here and-” Donnie cut Raph off mid-sentence.

“Love? You actually admit that you care about me as a brother? Who are you and what have you done with Raphael?” At that, Raph blushed and chastised himself for letting it slip. Soon enough Donnie would find out that...”

“Hello? Earth to Raph! Did I lose you?” Donnie waved a hand in front of Raph’s eyes, earning his attention back. “You spaced out on me. Is everything alright?” His auburn eyes showed nothing but concern and Raph felt his heart constrict. 

If only he knew how it felt to be held and touched by this loving creature. To be looked at with eyes blazing and passion-filled. To touch without reprimand. To tell him those three words in a more-than-brotherly fashion. To...

Then Raph felt a smack on his cheek, the green skin more red than the blush and stinging to the touch. Donnie had just slapped him! But wait, he doesn’t look angry, just more concerned. Wow. 

Raph had to snap out of it and reach up, catching the genius’ hand before he could land another strike to awaken his sibling from his inner mind. Donnie’s hand was soft -- softer than his own -- and calloused from years of building, crafting and training. Perfect hands to hold.

Breath hitching, Raph glanced into Donnie’s eyes and swallowed the lump in his throat when Don’s cute little gap in his teeth was in view. Oh how he imagined what it would be like to kiss that mouth, feel between the gap...

Before he knew what was happening, Raph’s lips were pressed to Donnie’s in a feather-light kiss that ended all too soon. Once the red-banded ninja realized what he had done, he stood in a flurry and rushed out the door. Donnie probably hated him and he didn’t want to be around to hear it when he yelled after him.

Raph didn’t hear what Donnie was saying but he didn’t dare turn around, instead picking up speed and shooting out of the lair to the surface. He’d just ruined any chance of warming Donnie up to the idea of a relationship by giving into his impulse. It was over before it began.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Donnie reacts to Raph's bold move. An uninvited guest appears to mess everything up in jealousy.

Donnie stood outside his lab, hand on mouth, trying to process what had just happened. Raph had...kissed him, on the lips. Why did he do that and then run away? Was there really something wrong with Donnie that his own brother was disgusted with him?

“Raph...do you like me?” Donnie spoke to no one as he contemplated how to react. Should he go find Raph and sort this out or wait for him to return to talk? Whenever Raph ram away, he almost always got into trouble, something that had always concerned Donnie as he had to patch him up afterward.

‘There must be a reason why he kissed me. He was being so kind and gentle a minute ago. Maybe I should go after him to make sure he stays out of trouble.’ Nodding to himself, Donnie grabbed his bo and left the lair, using his t-phone to track his brother’s movements.

“That can’t be right. It indicates he’s at the docks, but there have been high tides lately and the area is cut off for safety. Hmm.” Donnie spoke to himself as he made his way to the docks, hoping his hot-headed sibling was ok.

At the docks, Raph sat on the edge of a pier and looked down at the sloshing water. ‘Why am I such a screw up? I should have just told Don the truth and been done with it but nooo. I just had to kiss those soft lips of his.’ He sighed, trailing a foot in the cold water, allowing the sensation to wash over him and drown out everything around him.

Unfortunately, Raph didn’t see the giant had coming down on him until he was in its grasp. He choked, grasping at his throat to get air into his lungs. His eyes bulged, widening at the sight of his former pet Spike -- now called Slash -- glaring at him.

“So, Raphael, you came here alone as I expected. Let me guess, your brothers upset ya so ya decided to run away for a while to clear your head instead of hurting them.” The giant turtle shook his head. “It’s kind of pathetic, ya know? Ya should’ve let me finish them while I had the chance. Then you and I could be together to do whatever we want.”

Slash smirked, tightening his hold on Raph’s neck. “It’s a shame we’re enemies now, Raphael. We could have been so much more. There are things we would have done that you would most certainly enjoy. Heh. I imagine you’re very vocal, considering how loud you are anyway.”

Raph blushed at that, knowing what Slash implied, and dropped his arms as he started to lose consciousness from lack of oxygen. “O-Only...D-Don..nie...”

Hearing the brainiac’s name, Slash growled and slammed Raph into the pier. “Never say his name again! Ever!” The gleam in Slash’s eyes burned with such fierce intensity at hearing Donnie’s name come out of his beloved’s mouth.

“You wanna know why I attacked him first out of all your brothers? Why I nearly broke his arm and crushed the life out of him? Because he had always held your attention when I’m the one that deserves it! Not him! He’s weak and useless while I’m strong and powerful! You should have loved me more! ME!!”

Out of nowhere, a flash of purple descended by Slash and knocked him back, causing him to relinquish his hold on Raph, who was currently unresponsive. When Slash made to stand, the tip of a blade was pointed directly at his neck, the long end of the staff held by masterful hands.

“Keep your large, filthy hands off my brother, Slash. He may have loved you once but it was as an owner, best friend, brother, not your grotesque fantasy.” Donnie glared daggers at Slash, having heard everything he said.

“Raph doesn’t love you in that manner and I wouldn’t blame him after what you did to us. I will not allow anything like that to happen to any of my brothers while I still draw breath. Therefore, you should leave my family alone and keep your vile thoughts to yourself. Do I make myself clear?”

Donnie was shocked to see Slash’s eyes glistening at his words, nearly pooling with unshed tears. It hurt Slash to hear the truth but Donnie knew it was for everyone’s best interest. This horrible creature would not dare touch his Raph, or suffer the consequences at Donnie’s hands. Teeth bared, Donnie stepped back with the blade of his naginata pointed toward Slash. 

“I know what you’re capable of but I don’t think you want to try anything as I have hidden surprises waiting for you if you decide to pull anything.” Donnie gave a small smirk. “Your arm may have to feel what mine did if you stay much longer.”

Inwardly, Donnie was terrified and shaking. He knew that if Slash decided to attack him, he’d lose. He just hoped his bluff was enough to scare Slash off.

Sure enough, Slash leapt to his feet and took off sprinting, glancing back to Raph’s limp body as he disappeared into the darkness. Sheathing his weapon, Donnie rushed to Raph’s side and assessed his neck, noting the dark bruising that started to form. He’d be sore for a while. 

There was a bump on Raph’s head from hitting the pier that could be easily fixed with an ice pack. Donnie cringed, hating when any of his siblings were injured. He’d seen many things that he could never purge from his mind, especially in his dreams, but as the family doctor, he didn’t have much of a choice.

As Donnie started to sit Raph up, a low groan escaped from his mouth as green eyes fluttered open. “M-My guardian angel...” Raph smiled. “I knew you’d come for me.”

Donnie blushed, clearing his throat. “Eh heh..Raph? I think you’re delusional from your head injury so I’m going to get you home so you can get better, ok? Do you trust me, bro?”

Raph only grinned wider as he was helped to stand, leaning on Donnie for support as they made their way to the lair. There were many questions Donnie wanted to ask, but settled with waiting for tomorrow when Raph would be more coherent than he was at the moment. They had much to discuss.

* * * * * *

Raph woke up with a groan, his head pounding. He took in his surroundings and realized he was in his room, but he wasn’t alone. To his left was Donatello, who was looking right at him with a washcloth in his hand.

Before Raph could speak, Donnie placed the washcloth on his forehead and lightly dabbed to stay gentle and not worsen Raph’s obvious migraine, cooling his heated skin. Raph held his breath, waiting patiently -- difficult for him to do -- for the genius to speak.

Finally, Donnie stopped and pulled the washcloth away. He wrung it in his hands as he contemplated how to start. This was more difficult than explaining reproduction to his brothers as pre-teens.

“Why did you kiss me?” Donnie blurted out, keeping his eyes fixated on Raph’s.

Raph bit his lip, knowing he had to tell the truth, no matter what it cost him. “I-It’s because...I really like you, Donnie. Like...I’ve always loved you but more than as a brother. Y-You uh...” He cleared his throat, blushing in embarrassment. “You make me happy and give me a feeling that I’ve never experienced before.”

Donnie sat there, processing what he heard, as the minutes ticked by on Raph’s glow-in-the-dark clock. It was a lot to take in and Donnie hated to make Raph wait but he didn’t quite know how to respond. 

Looking at Raph, Donnie noted the fear and defeat that were in his eyes. It was as if Raph expected to be rejected, just like Donnie had been by April. The genius would never want to hurt Raph like that, especially not after how Raph comforted him after the ordeal. 

Was he really considering this? An incestuous relationship with the toughest and crudest of his siblings?

Then Donnie thought of something. “Why didn’t you say anything until now? Why wait until after April rejects me? Is this why you always put down how I felt about her? You wanted me to yourself?”

Raph sat up and responded hotly. “Shell no! Don I did all that to protect you from getting hurt by her! I knew she wouldn’t go for you and I tried to get you to see that but you were so blinded by the fact she was the first, and only, female human that accepted us as we are.”

He took a breath, willing himself to calm down. He had to keep it together in order to convince Donnie he was telling the truth. “I...I hate seeing you hurt and upset, Don. It really hurts me when you cry and harm yourself in hard times.”

Donnie’s eyes widened. “You know about that?” Raph gave a small nod, gently taking one of Donnie’s wrists into his hand, rubbing over the bandages wrapped securely around it. “I’ve always known. Ever since the first time I saw you do it. I was just too afraid to do anything about it so I kept quiet.”

Pausing, Raph turned his gaze back up to Donnie’s. “I never expected you to accept my feelings but I didn’t know how to tell you. It’s been hard to watch you love and desire someone else that you couldn’t have when I-I went through the same thing.”

“I’ve watched you at night. Those nights you’d fall asleep at your desk and talk in your sleep. I often go to the lab to bring you to bed on late nights and once, you were talking. It seemed like you were having a heated dream so I waited for you to calm down before picking you up due to the awkwardness of it. When you cried out, I felt a piece of me die inside.”

Donnie raised an eye-ridge. He was a little creeped out to know Raph watched him while he slept but he wanted to know why it upset him. “What did I say?”

Raph cleared his throat, feeling his fist clench over Donnie’s wrist as he remembered every detail. “You said ‘April! Do it again, even if the others hear, because you’re the only one I want!’” Raph mimicked Donnie’s tone of voice during the dream, cringing as the words left his mouth.

“If she was the only one you want, then I wasn’t going to push my feelings onto you while you still felt there was a chance because I knew you’d stick with your gut and wait for her. It was so hard, too.” Raph’s breath hitched as he fought back tears.

“And then the time Slash hurt you, I knew he was no longer my best friend. He knows about my feelings for you and therefore knew how I’d react if you were hurt. It w-was my..f-fault.”

He couldn’t stop the tears that fell, nor did he want to, as he let go of Donnie’s wrist and brought his hands to his face. Sobs wracked his bulky frame as his grief came crashing down. He had blamed himself for what happened with Slash and his brothers. He was the one that put the mutagen in his room where Spike could get to it and ranted about everything to his beloved pet, so of course he was to blame.

Seeing the distress Raph was in, Donnie sat on the bed beside him and pulled his brother into an almost bone-crushing embrace, rubbing his shell in a soothing manner that he knew worked well for Raph. Soon, the sobs receded to quiet whimpers and his shaking reduced to mild tremors.

“I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with this alone for so long, Raph. I wish I had known so I could put your fears and worrying to rest. You don’t have to keep it bottled up anymore.” Pausing to let Raph know he wanted to be heard, Donnie took a deep breath and gave him an answer.

“Now I’ve never thought of having a relationship with any of my brothers but considering our limited options and the fact that you are kind-hearted and attractive, I’m willing to give it a shot. Of course, we’ll have to take things slow and if we end up doing something I’m not comfortable with, I will let you know and we’ll stop. I don’t want you to get hurt so I’m giving you the opportunity to drop it and leave our relationship as platonic. What do you say?”

Sniffling, Raph looked up into Donnie’s amber eyes. Those eyes had always captivated the hothead and they still did. Knowing it was his only shot with the genius, Raph nodded and pulled out of the embrace to wipe the tears off his face. “I accept. I promise not to push you into anything unless you’re ok with it. I would never want to hurt you, Don, ever.”

Donnie smiled at Raph’s confession, gently removing a tear with his thumb. “Then I believe you have a question to ask me.”

Blushing slightly at the contact, Raph sat up straight and took Donnie’s hands into his own. “Donnie, will you go out with me?”

The purple-banded turtle grinned and nodded. “Yes, I would love to.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get a little crazy with relationships.

About a month had gone by with Raph and Donnie seeing different sides of one another they had never expected. Raph was actually very self-conscious while Donnie feared the evil in his intelligence. They worked through many issues together but there were still thousands left untouched.

Their physical relationship remained nothing more than holding hands and hugging, with maybe a peck on the head or cheek. Raph was very hesitant in his affections toward Donnie, fearing he would leave if Raph pushed him into something he wasn’t ready for.

Raph didn’t even know if he was ready for more, just the thought of being with Donnie sent tremors throughout his body.

Though they tried to keep their relationship a secret, it did not escape the sharp eyes of their brothers. Leonardo was skeptical about where it would lead but accepted it none the less. Michelangelo was beyond thrilled at the news because he had found someone to turn to as well.

“You’re with LEATHERHEAD?!” Raph all but screamed at his little brother, appalled by his announcement.

Mikey wasn’t deterred by his brother’s outburst. “Yes, I am. He and I have gotten really close and it worries me that something will happen to him if he doesn’t have someone.”

Donnie crossed his arms, stating, “What if he loses control of his temper and hurts you? He’s done it before.” He then muttered, “Your face isn’t safe.”

Leo sighed, getting down to Mikey’s eye level. “Do you really want to be with Leatherhead out of love or out of obligation to protect him?”

Mikey seemed to consider that for a moment, his gaze drifting off into space. His brothers waited as patiently as they could, until Mikey turned his attention back to Leo with determination. “Yes, I want to be with him out of love. He’s my choice. I know he won’t hurt me because I can calm him down.”

Nodding, Leo stood to his normal height. He couldn’t really argue with his brother after accepting Raph and Donnie’s coupling, but there was a nagging fear in his gut that he worked hard to ignore. If his brothers were happy, then so was he, even if he didn’t have that kind of relationship with anyone.

After learning Karai’s relation to Splinter, Leo dashed the notion of ever dating her. The leader just knew his father would disapprove if he broached the subject once she joined them, and he knew she would join them one day.

With that, Mikey dashed to the entrance of the lair. He and Leatherhead had planned for a date night in celebration of their acceptance and Mikey didn’t want to keep his companion waiting.

After Mikey left, Leo ventured into the dojo for some evening meditation, leaving Raph and Donnie to entertain themselves.

Raph grinned, gesturing to the vacant couch. “Wanna have a movie night? We can watch whatever you want, so long as I get to sit with you.” There was a slight plea in his voice, indicating he desperately wanted the time to spend with the genius.

Agreeing to the proposal, Donnie followed Raph to the couch and sat down as he picked up the remote. Surely there was something on that they would both enjoy. As Donnie flipped through the channels, Raph sat down beside him with his arm draped over the back of the couch.

Though he wasn’t touching Donnie, the purple-banded turtle felt an electric buzzing vibrate through the entire right side of his body. It set him on edge. Finally settling for a science fiction drama, Donnie set the remote aside and got comfortable.

About halfway through the movie, Donnie rested his head on Raph’s shoulder. He found it more comfortable than trying to keep his head up and was okay with this level of physical touch. 

Raph found himself smiling, moving his arm to rest on Donnie’s shoulders and pulling him closer. He didn’t know why but it just felt...right to have Donnie in his arms. Raph only wished he could do more, even if it’s just kiss on the lips softly. He just wanted to pursue further than this.

Donnie shifted, having lost interest in the film, and turned his eyes up to meet Raph’s. Their intensity made Donnie shudder, knowing those eyes saw him differently than he imagined. As he thought about what Raph saw in him, a question came to mind.

“Hey, Raph? Can I ask you something?”

Raph smiled. “Of course, Don. You know you can ask me anything.”

Taking a deep breath, Donnie placed a hand onto his wrist. “Why me?”

That question startled Raph to the point he didn’t understand its meaning. “What do ya mean, ‘why me’? Be more specific.”

Sighing, Donnie sat up a bit straighter and looked Raph straight in the eyes, never breaking from their hold. “Why did you choose me? Out of everyone you could have picked, why did it have to be me?” He looked down, gripping his wrist in nervousness. “What makes me so special?”

At that, Raph shifted and lifted Donnie’s chin to make eye contact. Once he caught Donnie’s gaze, he made sure to keep it. “What doesn’t make you special, Donatello?”

Donnie gasped, rarely hearing his full name come from Raph’s mouth. It sounded very alluring.

“You’re special to me because you actually listen when I need to talk. Unlike the others who interrupt with their opinions and questions, you wait until I’m done and then give your input. That and you’re super adorkable.”

Raph chuckled lightly, seeing the pink flush on Donnie’s cheeks. “I can see your potential. You are smart and strong. Though you may be physically thinner than the rest of us, you’re strong mentally, which makes you stronger physically. I just...I don’t know. You give me such a feeling that I can’t explain but it’s strong. I-I love you, Donnie. That’s why I chose you.”

Donnie’s eyes glistened as he took in each word and felt the passion behind them. It was hard not to believe the hothead so Donnie felt his body move forward several inches until he was a hairsbreadth away from Raph’s plump lips.

Raph, too, leant forward and closed the gap between them in a gentle kiss. This is what he wanted more than anything: to feel his lips pressed to Donnie’s. It was better than either had anticipated and they only pulled apart to catch their breath.

“That...was exhilarating. I didn’t think I’d enjoy that as much as I did.” Donnie’s blush had deepened, causing his green skin to burn with embarrassment. Nodding in agreement, Raph cupped Donnie’s cheek and rubbed over the flushing skin with his thumb.

“It can get better, if you’re up for it, of course. If that’s as far as you’ll go then I’m ok with it, so long as we can do that again.”

Biting his bottom lip in thought, Donnie sensed he agreed and decided to show Raph how he felt about that. Just as their lips were milliseconds apart, Leo barged out of the dojo and toward them in a flurry. 

“Guys!! We have to get to Leatherhead’s now!”

Pulling away from Raph, Donnie leapt to his feet. “What’s the problem, Leo? You want to spoil their date?”

The glare Leo sent had Donnie shutting up immediately. This was obviously no laughing matter. “No. Leatherhead called to say something was wrong but didn’t go into details. I could hear heavy breathing and whimpers on the other end so I know it’s not good.”

Raph hopped up and grabbed his sais, twirling them impatiently. He was irritated at having his moment with Donnie ruined. “Then what are we waiting for? Let’s go see what’s up.”

The three ninjas dashed out of the lair and toward a section of tunnels that led to Leatherhead’s den. This section was darker and less used than the others so it was the perfect place for the crocodile to reside. 

As they got closer, the sound of heavy sobbing got louder and the smell of blood pierced their nostrils, making their skin prickle with nerves and anticipation.

“Alright guys, be prepared for anything.” Leo removed his katanas from their sheathes and proceeded forward cautiously, Raph and Donnie not far behind with their weapons drawn as well.

Glancing into the main ‘room’ of Leatherhead’s home, Leo scanned for signs of anything amiss. Sensing nothing, he gestured for his brothers to follow him in and check the adjoining rooms for trouble. Raph opened a door to the left and scanned the room, seeing nothing but what could be called a pantry and refrigerator.

Donnie went to the right, hearing the sound from earlier, only intensified as he pressed his head against the door before opening it. The stench of blood was prominent, causing Donnie to cover his nostrils with the back of his hand as he entered the room. It was dark so he had to squint until his eyes adjusted, revealing Leatherhead’s form curled in a far corner.

Donnie called back over his shoulder, “Guys, I found Leatherhead!” He then stepped over to their friend tentatively, wary of the beast as he recalled the many face-grabbing incidents.

Leo and Raph made it to the doorway and shuffled in behind the genius, both wrinkling their beaks at the smell. As Donnie reached Leatherhead, he gently placed a hand on his shoulder to notify their presence.

Nearly jumping out of his skin, Leatherhead turned to the turtles with a look of dread. “M-My friends...”

Leo sheathed a katana and stepped toward Leatherhead. “What happened? Your call sounded urgent.”

Nodding solemnly, Leatherhead shifted to reveal a bundle in his thick arms. A blanket obscured what it was from view but Donnie had a pretty good guess what it was. He kept his mouth shut to let Leatherhead explain first.

“I am sorry, my friends. One moment everything was fine, the next I lost control and...forgive me, please. I did not mean to harm him.”

At the ‘him’, he unraveled the blanket to reveal Mikey, a pale and mangled Mikey. A collective gasp could be heard as Donnie darted forward to pull Mikey in his arms and knelt to properly assess his wounds. “Oh my God...”

Raph let out a feral growl as he pointed the tips of his sais at Leatherhead. “Look what you did to my brother! This is why we were hesitant to allow this relationship to grow! Mikey told us everything would be fine, we believed him, and now Mikey has paid the price! What do you have to say for yourself?!”

Leatherhead looked downcast, unable to meet any of their eyes. “I am sorry. I did not think arousing activities would bring out the monster in me. He, too, convinced me it could work but I tried to push him away, stating I would hurt him and am better off alone. Then he kissed me... When our kiss turned very heated, I lost my mind.”

He covered his eyes as he sobbed. “I am sorry, Michelangelo. You were wrong about me. I am a monster.”

Leo looked on the beast with sympathy and placed a hand on his head. “Don’t beat yourself up about it, LH. We all know that you get urges that you can’t control and Mikey figured he could tame them but it proved too much for both of you. I think it’s wise to end this relationship before anything worse comes to pass.”

Leatherhead nodded, glancing over at Mikey’s body, and shuddered at the sight. Donnie stood, trying his best to keep his little brother upright, and addressed his siblings. “I need to get Mikey back to the lair for more proper and sterile treatment. The conditions out here could cause infection.”

Raph went over to support Mikey’s other side as he and Donnie left the room. Donnie knew how traumatizing this event would be for their younger brother and mulled over how best to combat it. All thoughts of what happened earlier with Raph vanished as they made their way to their home. Donnie needed all his focus on the task of helping his brother and didn’t need any distractions.

Looking over at him, Raph could see the gears turning in Donnie’s head and understood there would be no continuance of their date until this was settled. This was one thing Raph could always count on and accept about Don and wouldn’t fight against it. Right now, Mikey needed help and he knew Donnie had to handle it his way without Raph’s interference.

Leo bid Leatherhead farewell and promised to update him on Mikey’s condition. He didn’t want to leave the big guy alone during this but as leader, his brothers were his priority and so he left to catch up to them. ‘Hopefully Mikey will be alright’, Leo thought to himself as he entered the lair and went straight to Donnie’s lab.

He and Raph were immediately kicked out by an angry Donatello as he reprimanded them for invading his personal space. The lab door slammed shut, causing the walls to vibrate from its force.

The two alphas didn’t take what Donnie said personally, understanding he was just stressed from what he had to do to help Mikey. Raph set off to the kitchen in order to brew a cup of coffee for the genius, knowing he’d need some to keep up his energy.

Leo went to Master Splinter’s room to let their father know everything that happened, one of his major duties as leader. This was going to break the old ninja master’s heart but Leo was obligated to let him know, even though he wished he didn’t have to.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The after-affects of Mikey and Leatherhead's relationship surface while Raph and Donnie's relationship grows.

A soft groan echoed in the isolated lab. Baby blue eyes cracked open to look around and settled on the form of a silent figure with a hand on his forehead. Sighing as his headache was rubbed away, Mikey fully opened his eyes and got a better look at who was beside him.

Instead of Donnie, as he expected, his eyes connected with the deeper blue of Leo’s as the eldest continued to gently rub his forehead in silence. Mikey tried to speak, but was only able to manage a whimper as his body protested every action he attempted.

Looking down at himself, Mikey gasped to see he was a half-mummy with stitches protruding every few inches of skin. His breath came in fast as memories flashed in his mind’s eye.

'Hand reaching out to touch... Eyes glazing over... A roar... Pain... Then darkness...'

Snapping his eyes to Leo, Mikey trembled as his eyes watered. Was Leatherhead ok? Did the guys hurt him? He had to make sure the big guy didn’t blame himself.

“Michelangelo calm down, please.” Leo’s stern voice quieted Mikey’s thoughts. With a heavy sigh, Leo reached out and took Mikey’s good hand into his own and gave it a gentle squeeze. “I talked to Leatherhead when we found you and came to a decision. Neither one of you has a choice in the matter and I know you’ll fight me on it but just hear me out, ok?”

Mikey nodded, paying close attention to Leo’s movements and tone of voice. He was not going to like what he heard.

“Listen, Mikey. What happened with you two cannot happen again and we all know that it could if we allow it. I had Leatherhead agree that this relationship is over and that you have to stay friends for your safety. It-”

Mikey’s sob cut Leo off and had the leader taken aback. He’d seen Mikey cry thousands of times growing up but this cry was so full of sorrow that Leo almost took it back.

“I-I just wanted to make him h-happy! He’s so lonely w-without anyone in his life and I felt I could f-fill the empty space for him. I feel so t-terrible for hurting him, Leo!”

Not wanting any stitches to be pulled, as per Donnie’s directions, Leo sat next to Mikey and pulled him into his arms. It was painful to see such sorrow in the blue eyes and Leo felt he had to do something to fix it.

“You know, I promised Leatherhead to call him once you woke up so he knew how you were doing. Would you like to talk to him when I do?” Leo looked at Mikey, waiting for the younger to calm enough to respond.

“Y-Yes. I need to tell him the t-truth about how I feel toward him... It’s n-not fair..” Mikey hid his face in Leo’s chest as the eldest pulled out his t-phone and dialed Leatherhead’s number, making sure to place the call on speaker for the both of them.

It did not take long for Leatherhead’s phone to pick up. He answered on the third ring. 

**“Leonardo? How is Michelangelo?”** A sniffle could be heard on the other end that had Mikey’s heart clench.

“Mikey just woke up and will be just fine, he only needs rest and fluids to keep his strength.” 

After a pause, Leo spoke softly, “He’s with me now and would like to talk to you.”

Mikey froze, not quite knowing what to say or where to start. Taking a deep breath, Mikey looked at the phone as if Leatherhead was in the room with them.

“H-Hey, LH. You don’t need to w-worry about what happened, I don’t blame you at all, ok? I g-guess I should have told you from the beginning I did this for you and not myself... I don’t see you in that way but I know how lonely you are so-”

Leatherhead cut him off. **“Do not apologize to me, Michelangelo. I understand how your heart and mind work so I am not at all surprised or offended by your actions toward me. I am, however, very worried about your welfare after last night’s ordeal. How are you faring?”**

Sighing in relief, Mikey settled against Leo’s shoulder and told Leatherhead how sore he was but how restless he was getting at not being able to do anything except lay around.

Leo smiled to himself, seeing a spark in Mikey’s eyes as his spirit lightened with each word spoken to their friend. This is why Leo allowed for contact between the two because Mikey needed Leatherhead as much as Leatherhead needed him. The two were inseparable and Leo was not about to get in the way of their friendship.

He was pulled from his thoughts when the two got quiet and the conversation stopped. Feeling as if something was wrong, Leo whispered, “Is everything ok, Mikey?”

Nodding, Mikey held the phone close and whispered into it, hoping only Leatherhead could hear him. With trained senses, Leo heard every word shared between them and smiled softly.

“I still love you, Leatherhead. Don’t think you can’t come to me if you need anything, ok, buddy?” On the other end, a light chuckle could be heard that was hoarse from Leatherhead’s overused throat, due to his crying.

**“I love you too, Michelangelo. I will always be your friend and we can still hang out whenever you wish. I must go so you can rest."**

Saying another goodbye, Mikey hung up and handed the phone to Leo, who put it in his belt. Mikey sat there silently, not focusing on anything around him as his mind reeled from what happened.

Leo broke the silence, shifting to lay Mikey back down as he stood. “I’m going to let Donnie know you’re awake so he can check on your injuries.”

Mikey nodded, watching as Leo disappeared outside the door. He then spoke softly to himself, feeling more tears well up in his eyes. Instead of upset, they were of anger at how everything turned out. 

“Why must life suck for us?”

******

As Donnie left Leo in the lab to watch over Mikey, he made his way to the shower in order to wash away the stress he was in. Standing under the warm spurts of water, Donnie shut his eyes and sighed as he recounted the events leading up to this.

**“What doesn’t make you special, Donatello?”**

Donnie shuddered, remembering those calloused hands holding him and reminding the genius that someone was there for him, even when he didn’t expect them to be. Touching his mouth, Donnie blushed as an image of Raph pressed against him flooded his memory and he had to bite his lip to keep from making a sound.

The water rolled across his skin in an almost caress that had Donnie’s tail wagging and his mind whirling as more fantasies came to mind. Trying to get his heart rate under control, Donnie shut his eyes tight as the sensations increased and he uttered a simple word.

“R-Raph...”

Donnie felt extra warmth surround him and leaned back against his emerald brother. Strong arms encircled his body and pulled him close, soft breath tickling his neck.

“Ya called, Don?”

Blushing, Donnie turned so he could look up at Raph and couldn’t help letting his eyes wander across Raph’s naked form. He reached out and wrapped his arms around Raph’s waist, feeling embarrassed at being taller.

“Y-Yeah. We didn’t get to finish earlier and I missed you.” Smiling, Raph leaned up and placed a kiss to the corner of Donnie’s mouth.

“It depends on how much more ya want, Donnie boy. That kiss was amazing but we can always go further than that, if you’re comfortable with it.”

Donnie nodded and leaned down to press a hard kiss to his brother’s mouth. Raph blushed at the swiftness but quickly recovered and kissed back, linking his arms around Donnie’s neck to pull him closer.

Feeling bold at taking charge Donnie snuck a hand down to gently grab Raph’s tail and squeeze it, eliciting a surprised churr from the hothead. Not wanting to break the kiss, Raph moved his hands down to grasp Donnie’s tail and gave a squeeze of equal pressure.

Churring at the sensation, Donnie continued giving Raph’s tail attention as the emerald turtle pushed Donnie against the shower wall to deepen their kiss. Their tongues danced together as if in a waltz and Raph felt his tongue slip between the gap in Donnie’s teeth, realizing he liked it more than he anticipated.

The two broke apart to catch their breath and held onto each other, afraid to let go and find it was all a dream. They panted and leaned their foreheads together.

Smiling, Raph had Donnie slide to the ground with him so they could rest and cuddle together under the shower’s spray. Donnie laid his head on Raph’s shoulder and entwined their tails together as he reminisced on their newfound physical relationship.

As he was about to say something, the bathroom door opened and Leo stepped over to the shower. He peered in, not caring what condition his brothers were in, and told them that Mikey was awake and talking.

Nodding, Donnie stood and shut off the water as he stepped out and wrapped a towel around his waist. He hardly acknowledged either brother as he trudged to the lab, trailing water behind him on his path.

Raph stepped out of the shower and dried off silently, barely glancing at Leo as he went out to his room in order to get dressed. Sighing to himself, Leo entered the dojo to meditate with Master Splinter and clear his mind of what had occurred moments earlier with his brothers. Their relationship was growing and it pained him to see their happiness in each other.

Why couldn’t he have that?


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Donnie and Raph take advantage of some free time.

The following morning, Donnie entered the kitchen and made his way to the coffee maker. He was exhausted from helping Mikey so he needed an energy boost for the day, though he wasn’t sure how much longer he could handle it. 

Once his mug was filled to the brim, Donnie sat on the living room couch to relax and sip his exhaustion away. Staring off into space, he thought to himself, ‘I feel bad for blowing Raph off like that. He deserves more attention than I give him. How could he still want me?’

The couch space to his left dipped down, indicating someone had sat beside him. Glancing out of the corner of his eye, Donnie sighed to find Mikey looking at him. “Shouldn’t you be resting, little brother?”

Shifting into a comfortable position, Mikey turned to look at Donnie. His face was all seriousness, not a trace of childish joy present. Donnie flicked his eyes to Mikey’s, unsure what his brother wanted but skeptical about how his injuries were faring, since he had just been hurt recently. By that, he knew it was both physically and emotionally.

“Yes, I should. But, we need to talk first.” Sitting up, Donnie gave Mikey his full attention, nodding to him to continue. 

“We all know my relationship was mostly based on pity and compassion, but I want to know if yours is the same or if it’s based off real love. So what is it?”

Donnie sat there a moment, not expecting that question, and contemplated how to respond. “Listen, Mikey. I know Raph is really interested in me and having a future with me but I only agreed to try it out to see if I felt the same about him.”

Mikey placed a hand onto Donnie’s mug, a look of barely concealed anger on his face. “Is that how it is now? Just an experiment?”

Shaking his head, Donnie smiled as memories came to him. “I have reached the conclusion that I do love Raph more than I let on. He’s just so strong and passionate and dreamy...” He blushed, realizing he was rambling. “Sorry.”

Smiling at Donnie’s response, Mikey threw his arms around the genius. “That’s so cute, bro! You’re in love with Raphie!”

Don laughed and clamped a hand on Mikey’s mouth, hoping to silence him. “Don’t call him Raphie! Only I get to do that now. It’s my right, after all.”

Feeling wet warmth on his palm, Don yanked his hand back and shook off the saliva. “Mikey ew! Keep your germs away from me and go back to bed before I get someone to make you!”

Grinning like a maniac and feeling triumphant, Mikey got up and skipped to his bedroom. “Donnie and Raph sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g!!! Donnie’s got a boyfriend!”

Donnie blushed and growled low, causing Mikey to quickly shut his door and hide from his brainy sibling. They all knew that when Donnie got angry, it was best to stay out of the way. They each had the bruises and scars to prove it.

Huffing in annoyance, Donnie continued to sip his coffee and took a step toward his lab, only stopping when a hand on his shoulder held him in place. Donnie knew from years of living together that the hand belonged to Raph, the rough callouses were a very familiar and very comforting texture.

He turned, blushing when he realized Raph had heard Mikey loud and clear. The faint blush and smirk were prominent on his emerald green face. “I, umm... I was wondering if we could...well...”, Raph stammered.

Donnie took Raph’s hand in his and gave it a gentle squeeze in reassurance. Feeling encouraged, raph pulled Donnie close and kissed his forehead lightly. “Could we go out tonight? Just the two of us. We could stroll through the park and sit in the trees or see a movie or I dunno.”

Smiling, Donnie lifted Raph’s hand and kissed it as he replied, “The park sounds wonderful, Raph. Pick me up around 9:00?”

Raph nodded and kissed Donnie quickly. “I’ll be at your door at 9:00. Hope you’re ready by then.”

Donnie rolled his eyes, releasing Raph’s hand as he stepped toward the lab. “Oh I’ll be ready, Raphael. I expect you at 9:00 and not a second later, understood?”

“I understand, my fair genius.” With that, Raph disappeared into the dojo for a few rounds with his practice dummy before the date, just in case.

******

At 8:59 PM, Donnie closed his laptop and checked his lab to make sure nothing was left on while he was gone. If anything went wrong, he wouldn’t forgive himself later. Donnie looked to the clock on his wall and counted down the seconds, grinning as the time grew nearer. As the clock reached 9:00, there was a knock on the door that sent a shiver down Donnie’s spine.

Opening the door, he smiled to see Raph waiting for him with a sad-looking bouquet. Donnie laughed and fixed the bouquet into a crown of sorts and placed it on his head. “It’s startling how on time you are, dear Raph. You made it right on schedule.”

Raph politely bowed and held out his arm to Donnie. “Shall we get going, your grace? Wouldn’t want to waste a single moment of our evening.”

Donnie eagerly took Raph’s arm and allowed himself to be led out of the lair to the calming night on the surface. The air was slightly chilled due to the fall season but Donnie didn’t care, knowing he had Raph for warmth all to himself.

The pair carefully, still using their ninja stealth, made their way to the park where there seemed to be no one in sight. “Alright, brainiac”, Raph said. “Time to climb up this tree. Think you can handle it?’

Rolling his eyes, Donnie leapt up and caught a low branch, using his momentum to swing on top of it and launched to the next, higher. Raph wasn’t far behind, their agility honed to a fine point after years of training under Master Splinter. 

Once Donnie figured they were high enough, he sat on a thicker branch and waited for Raph to sit beside him. Luckily, the branch held their weight nicely.

Raph sat with his shell against the tree and held Donnie against his plastron to hold him in place. The pair looked up at the stars through the branches, their leaves having died in preparation for winter. 

“The stars are beautiful, aren’t they?” Donnie smiled, glancing back at Raph. The hothead smiled back, kissing the top of Donnie’s head. “Yeah, they sure are pretty. They really reflect the sparkle in your eyes whenever you’re happy. I just love the way you look when you’re in a good mood.”

Blushing, Donnie turned and sat facing Raph on the branch. “Do you uh...want to continue what we started on the couch? I mean, I’m still not totally comfortable with full blown physical stuff but kissing and light touching is fine.”

Raph caresses Donnie’s red cheek, rubbing over the heated skin with his thumb softly. “Of course, Don. I won’t push you until you give the word. I love you.” He pressed his lips to Donnie’s and held him close, their plastrons pushed together tightly.

Donnie happily returned the kiss, bringing his hands up to trace the scars in Raph’s plastron. His favorite was the lightning bolt-shaped chip on the upper left plate. He could never forget that day, for it was because of him Raph earned such a trophy.

\-- Donnie had just entered the sewers after retrieving supplies from the junkyard, when some giant beast attacked him from above. He couldn’t figure out what it was before Raph appeared and tackled the monster, drawing it away from Donnie’s prone form. He grabbed his supplies and scrambled to his feet as he watched his brother face the strange creature. It seemed like he was winning until the beast struck out with its claws and scraped down Raph’s plastron, causing a jagged piece to fly off and the hothead to cry out. Angered by the beast’s actions, Donnie leapt onto its back and found a pressure point in its neck that brought it down. He ran to his brother’s aid and fortunately found him alive and able to stand on his own. The two quickly ran to the lair to get away from the beast as fast as possible and to treat Raph’s wounds, however small. Donnie was grateful to have a courageous brother like Raph to watch his back. --

Donnie broke from the kiss and nuzzled under Raph’s jaw. “I love you too.” Raph opened his eyes wide at that. “Y-You really do?” When Donnie nodded, Raph made a joyful exclamation and peppered his neck and shoulders with kisses.

“So why me?” Donnie looked at him confused. “What do you mean?”

Raph shrugged. “Why pick me?”

Grinning, Donnie kissed Raph’s cheek. “Because you picked me first.”


	6. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Quick wrap-up

Raph and Donnie’s relationship grew to new heights, bringing them both a lot of happiness neither believed possible. Each day was taken in stride, the good with the bad. No matter what happened, they always stuck together like glue.

Mikey had gotten better, his injuries healing nicely, and often had Leatherhead visit since they were best friends. His brothers still didn’t trust him alone with the croc so he wasn’t allowed to visit Leatherhead’s place quite yet. Even with Leatherhead visited, one or more of them were present to keep a watchful eye over the pair just in case.

Leo kept constant vigil over his family from the sidelines, glad that they were happy but saddened he didn’t have a similar happiness. He wouldn’t show it, though. It would always be his secret and Master Splinter’s.

The two constantly conversed over tea, talking about everything going on in their lives, mostly Leo’s. Splinter knew his son was troubled but kept it to himself, knowing Leonardo would come to him when he was ready. He always did.

“Yo, Leo!” The leader looked out from his position on top of the couch to his brothers holding up water balloons.

Mikey grinned wickedly. “Think fast, ninja!” He tossed the two balloons he held at Leo, who dodged them easily with his honed ninja skills. Unfortunately, he wasn’t prepared for the next onslaught of balloons that drenched his skin and gear. 

He looked up at the rafters in shock, Raph and Donnie hanging from them with equally large grins. They prepared to throw more when Leo grabbed the one hidden behind Mikey’s back and tossed it straight up at them. They didn’t respond fast enough, becoming soaked by the single balloon.

Leo laughed, something he hadn’t actually done in a very long time. “I got you guys! Ha! Who’s the master? I am!”

Raph hopped down, followed by Donnie, and they, too, were laughing. Mikey draped his arms over Leo’s and Donnie’s shoulders, laughter bubbling out of him. Their laughter was interrupted as they all were soaked by and load of water balloons that sent them to the ground on top of one another.

Master Splinter chuckled in front of them, twirling a whisker between his fingers. “I believe I am the master.”

Unable to contain their laughter, the four turtles burst into loud giggles and bellows that echoed along with their master’s. The family, though strange, was whole and happy with the state of things.

Nothing and no one would be able to break their bond. Not even Slash, who watched solemnly from the depths of the sewers at his former master happy with those he believed caused him pain. No, not even he could ruin what they had and he knew it.

That’s why he was ok with why Raph chose Don over him. They deserved happiness just as much as anyone else. The only unhappy soul underground looked on in silence, wondering, “Why me?”


End file.
